The Lost Generation
A conversation between a Youth and a Scholar
Q. Last year, I met a girl at my office place and we incidentally made friendship with each other.
If you think about it carefully, you will discover that it was not incidental. It was very much purposeful.
Q. We started dating each other and fell in love.
You never fell in love. It was the call of sex, pure and simple, and exposure to a female in such detail, after puberty.
Q. We used to get out and we started conversation for long hours and also we use to SMS chat on phone from dawn till late night.
Nothing unusual. Thousands of wayward young Muslims are doing this, many failing in their courses, giving up their education, hitting job markets while in their teens, getting married without sufficient financial base, tasting the biting poverty by the 30’s, landing in a slum with an auto-rickshaw driver’s license, and dying with TB coughs.
Q. Then we started meeting daily in evening. We were very happy in our life.
Every sin is as tasty as the first puff of a cigarette, and is as distasteful in the end, as the fag’s last bitter puff.
Q. I spoke to my mother that I’m in love with a girl and that I wanted to marry her. My mother and sister visited her home.
They were wrong in doing that. They should have flatly refused to visit a girl so cheaply picked up.
Q. But after coming back, my mother scolded me by saying that she was fat and older than me. She rejected her.
Your mother was blind. She gave you the wrong report. She should have told you that the girl had no bashfulness of a virgin in her eyes and no innocence of a modest young girl.
Q. The girl started visiting a slimming centre and reduced her weight.
But, did she increase her weight with Allah?
Q. I succeeded to convince my mother to visit her home again. She did and agreed to the marriage in their house. But later, she spoke to the girl’s mother on phone and said that she does not agree to the marriage.
Perhaps, inquiries conducted by her revealed some distasteful facts; or consultants gave her negative advice.
Q. But after few days we again started meeting each other. When her parents went for Hajj, she invited me to her home and we committed fornication. I pressurized my mother for marriage. She did Istekhaara and took interpretation of dreams from a Mufti. The Mufti gave green signal from Allah (SWT).
Perhaps that was no Mufti. He was a Kahin of the modern times.
Q. She consulted elders of our family who all agreed but she rejected her a third time.
It sounds as if on every occasion she agreed because of pressure, and so, with a half-heart, and, therefore, retracted when pressure was removed.
Q. Now my beloved wants me to marry her through court, but I disagree. I want both (my mother and the girl) to agree but my mother wants me to quit communication with her. Now the girl is cursing me and my mother.
The love you spoke of at the start was no more than a love affair and the gratification of sexual desire. The girl cursing you and your mother now is a proof of that. Whoever ever cursed the beloved?
Q. I am in a great fear that due to her curse my family would suffer in some way.
No way. Half of her curses will return to her.
Q. I am a major sinner of her curse.
That you are a major sinner is clear enough. But the girl is responsible for throwing her curses.
Q. What will be the Kaffara for breaking her heart, trust, and honor?
You both are partners in sins, each needing to be sorry for the other. Now, the two sorry’s cancel out each other and so nothing is due for one from the other.
There is no expiation for committing sins.
Q. How to remove my sinful deeds from my account?
Through true repentance, being regretful for the past, turning back on the sin, and turning to Allah in truth by joining a Da`wah organization to become a Da`ee in a decade or so – after the waywardness of the past few years.
Q. I believe that I have broken her trust, as she believed me blindly that I have to marry her at any cost.
Unless she too turns to Allah in true repentance, she will remain blind to the true dangers of this life, whether or not you marry her. Marriage, or no-marriage, are events of little importance if she will not be someone in Paradise.
Q. I’m very confused, panicked, and depressed. What should I do? Shall I marry her or not? I don’t want to be answerable on the Day of Judgment. I want to be on the safe side on the Day of Judgment.
Your letter has so many contradictions that we too feel depressed along with you. It draws for us the picture of a lost generation which has absolutely no idea of what Islam stands for, what it means to be a Muslim, and what should be the relationship of a slave with his Lord.
It is not so much your fault as of those who have brought up their children on TV-soap operas, influences of a society that has completely turned its back to Islam, and the general moral degeneracy that is the hallmark of the present-day civilization.
As we have written earlier, you need to change your company first, before you can even realize and acknowledge that there is something vital missing from your thoughts and ideas. But since it is likely that such a company is not be around, you have to get active with some sort of work.